nothing will work anymore

 picture from my mate doyle. <3

oh those eyes. I am collecting;

sunday afternoons, wine gums. 

you should see the way you look at me. 

i want to show you fireworks, 

i want to say everything ive ever wanted to say allatonce. 

i want to stop forgetting everything that comes into my head. 

im jumbled like a flea market, 

im a charity shop full of things waiting to be painted, 

waiting to be perfect, 

waiting for you. 

and right now its hard. because everythings happening and lord, its so hard ive got to keep running because as soon as i stop i swear, i swear i'll collapse under it all, im flailing, as soon as i stop going forward it will drown me. 

and i can still see the thrawling looming bonnet of that black suv suddenly there in my perfieral vision like a heart attack, still seeing my sholder bag slam thunk into the front of it, so close to being the slam snap of my legs. Your hands are still going through my hair, 

and im falling, 

im just praying that im going to learn to fly 

before i hit the ground. 

So i nearly got hit by a car and everythings alittle busy and crazy right now and its hard to stay on top of all the ing responsiblity. big word. 

so i'll finish the ten days, i will, i just cant right now. 

I'm sorry, truely, truely, sorry. ~